Worth the ticket price.
Scarlet Johansson is hot.
DJ AM? Weird.
Good flick: a “B+”
The third should just be Rockwell
talking about guns.
I love Don Cheadle,
but, what the hell happened to
the other black guy?
Stark’s heart poisons him
This drama makes him boring.
Just stay an asshole.
Scarlet Johansson
kicked ass, but not as much as
Hit Girl. Timing fail.
[OLD NEWS] Recently Mississippi’s Itawamba Agricultural High School canceled prom because Constance McMillen, a lesbian who wanted to dress in a tux and attend it with her girlfriend.
[NEW NEWS] To make up for it’s negative publicity the town threw two proms and invited Constance and two learning disabled students to the fake prom with 5 other attendees, while the real prom rocked on other side of town. (via current.com)
What. The. Fuck.
But hold on. How did this even happen? Like, how did not one person in that entire school tell this girl about the real prom?! Were they forbidden? Did everybody know they weren’t supposed to tell these 9 people? That’d be so messed up.
And what the hell are the teachers thinking? They made national headlines by telling this lesbian girl she couldn’t dress like a dude and bring another girl to the prom, so they made up a fake prom and told her to go there?! That’s completely insane. It’s like when golfers say they’re meeting on the 10th hole at 10:00 and the new guy shows up and the sprinklers go on, except this isn’t every movie I’ve ever seen about golf, and some poor girl is going to have a mental disorder when this is over.
These people are adults, and they should be completely ashamed of themselves. Who in their right mind wouldn’t want more girls at a party?! It’s completely ridiculous. I don’t care if one of them is wearing pants. It’s stupid, and they are stupid.
I’m just as mad for the retarded kids.
From LOL to STFU to ATM, the internet is full of fun acronyms that help us reduce our time communicating with fellow human beings to mere seconds a day! Here are a few more submissions for your approval.
Nothing says failure like this sound. But what if you don’t want to take the time to link to an audio clip? Now you can simply write “PIRH,” and everyone will know that you are imparting the maximum amount of shame!
Me: How are you?
You: Not good, man. Denise just left me… She took the kids.
Me: PIRH
It even works on Twitter!
@grapesofrad Jay Leno is hosting The Tonight Show again. #PIRH
If you’ve said one or more of those things, that means you’re old and not cool anymore. Some people will desperately cling to their coolness (hipsters), others overcompensate (sluts/douchebags), while others will just let themselves go entirely (facebook moms). For the rest of us, those who are owning up to our burgeoning crotchety-ness, there is one phrase that lets every young punk know just who the hell they’re talkin’ to: “Get off my lawn.”
Now, everybody running up and down the block knows exactly how you feel about the de-planetization of Pluto, and so help them if they try to step just one foot of open mindedness anywhere near your lawn of stubbornness and distain for the unfamiliar.
Seriously.
Ever since I saw this post, I haven’t been able to stop making pictures of Snooki in various times & places.
I’ve never even seen Jersey Shore, and I have no idea why I’m doing this.
I figured since I just re-paid like $4 for this domain, I might as well post something, and since Ben gets all political & stuff on his blog, and I’m out of creativity, then, wellsir, I reckon Im’ a gonna do the same thang.
From themadthinker:
[This] came from a group called GatorGSA, though their website doesn’t exist any more. I think they’re the source, as that’s as far back as I could trace the meme when I first ran into it a year or so ago.
Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.
Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
I thought is was a pretty good list.
It’s time for another 1-take cover submission!
Unlike the other one of these I tried, this is a multi-track recording. The guitar, bass, drums, and a few vocal tracks were all recorded with 1 or 2 mics & in 1 take each, and were then mixed & EQ’d. Remember: sloppiness counts!
I’ve got a few ideas for some more covers. Whenever I get around to them, I’ll put them up here. Thanks for listening, and don’t forget to say “hi” in the ol’ comments.
In the comments for Episode 33 on grapesofrad.com, William & Mary (not the university) got into a discussion over a case of mistaken identity regarding Sting the musician and Sting the former professional wrestler.
At one point, referencing a wrestling term-heavy comment left by the latter Sting, William asked Mary if she “really [thought the musician] would write using wrestling metaphors.”
Which got me to thinking. What if he had?
Can you think of some more? Leave them in the comments!
This afternoon, while writing for a Grapes of Rad special I’m putting together next week, I learned about 2 crazy-ass mental disorders I had never heard of before, courtesy of the Science Channel.
There are some people out there who, after suffering some degree of brain trauma, start speaking with strong foreign accents! Seriously. It’d be like if Bruce Springsteen hit his head, woke up, & started talking like Borat! And it can be permanent. When I turned on the show, there were two people talking to each other who I thought were Italian Russian. Nope. Not at all. Pretty sure they were American.
Apparently people with this disorder are not actually speaking with a genuine accent, but their speech processing gets so out of whack, that the way they form their words is akin to people for whom English is not their primary language.
Weird, but not as weird as this:
OK, this is fucked up. People with BIID are totally convinced that they will be happier in life as amputees – so much so that they often seek out elective amputation of healthy limbs. WTF?!
On the show, 2 psychologists did a test where they had one of these fools who wanted to lose his right leg stand perpendicular to a mirror so that what looked like his whole body was really 2 left sides (like I used to do with those mirrored columns at JCPenney while my mom was shopping – I could lift up “both” my legs and levitate!), and this crazy bastard didn’t feel like cutting his limb off anymore!
Until, of course, he stepped away from the mirror.
Homeboy wanted to lop off his right leg just below the knee so badly that, since no respectable surgeon would do it, he immersed his leg in dry ice for 5 hours until all the tissue died & the lower portion of his right leg had to be amputated… just below the knee. Seriously?!
I almost don’t want to bring it up because writing about it encourages all this nonsense, but I’m home sick (and bored), and I’d like to make sure everybody knows a few things about the apocalypse du jour: Swine Flu.
1) Influenza kills roughly 36,000 people in the US each year. Not “swine flu” – I’m talking about regular ol’ “the flu.” If this porcine strain wants to match that number, it’s got a long way to go from the one person it’s killed domestically as of today.
Oh, but what about the 150 people who died in Mexico? You know what else kills 150 people every year in Mexico? The Chupacabra.
2) This is not new. Check out these PSAs about swine flu from 1976:
(You know what else happened in 1976? U2 was formed. If I had the option of contracting swine flu if it meant never having to listen to that overrated band again, I would take it.)
3) The media wants to scare you. If you’re scared, your eyes stay glued to TV, websites, magazines, and newspapers. If you’re eyes are glued, you’re seeing the advertisements. The more eyes on the ads, the more money they can charge for them. Bottom line.
So, can we stop this now? The human species isn’t going to die out because of West Nile Virus Bird Flu SARS Monkeypox MRSA Erectile Dysfunction Swine Flu. This is not 1340′s Europe. Enough already, please.
© 2012 Aaron Mason
